Wednesday, October 22, 2008

new camera!!

Soooo we got a new camera..and it is awesome. All of the pictures that have been on the blog so far have been from my camera phone. Now we have beautiful pics! Here are some examples :) Tons more to come!
Oh, and on the wonderful news side..I discovered that swaddling Ronnie helps him sleep a great deal..he used to hate i put him in and out like a light. He even napped in his crib today with no problem and woke up smiling :) The GI doc also gave us a change of meds to help his gas, so hopefully things are on the way to getting better.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

how we got here

disclaimer...this is a bit long, so if you don't have can skip to the last paragraph for my reasons for writing this novel ;)

This week is National Infertility Awareness week, so I thought now was as good a time as any to tell our story.
Having twins is always a conversation starter with strangers, and one commonly asked question is "do twins run in your family". This is kind of the "polite" way of asking if you have gone through fertility treatments. I always just answer the question "no" and leave it at that. Its not because I am unwilling to talk about what we have been through, or that I am embarrassed in any way. Actually I don't really like the question because of the way it leaves an unanswered question behind. Whenever I say "no", the person asking usually just says "oh", or acts surprised. Sometimes people even ask "who's side of the family do twins run on?" I just say "neither", knowing that there is a twin somewhere in Ron's family, but I also know that the father's side in no way affects the chances of the mother becoming pregnant with twins.
These questions just feel so awkward..I would almost prefer "did you undergo fertility treatments?"
The answer is "yep".
Ron and I knew from the start we wanted a family, and wanted to start as soon as possible. I had a feeling we might have trouble, my cycles were never regular. We were married in June of 06 and began trying that month. I was actually disappointed that it didn't happen that month, haha. The next month I had done research, and I went out and got a BBT thermometer for charting and ovulation predication tests. The next month my cycle was very strange, so I decided to test, just for the heck of it, and saw an amazing positive pregnancy test. Ron and I were so excited, it was happening so fast! I had been spotting, so I called my gyn in the morning, hoping they would just say "oh, thats normal, not to worry". Instead, they told me to come in for blood work. I was so thrilled when they called me at the end of the day and said I was indeed pregnant, but I needed to have blood work again in 2 days, I had stopped bleeding, so I was sure it would be fine. Alas, my numbers had gone down, and I had miscarried.
I was very lucky to have an amazing gyn, who even though they usually do no testing until the 3rd miscarriage, suspected that I might have an issue due to my irregular cycles..this is when we discovered my luteal phase defect. This is basically a hormonal problem that keeps my body from making a proper place for an egg to implant. So, we figured that this is the problem, and I begin progesterone supplements..I am still charting, still using prediction tests, and everything appears normal on paper. 6 months later, still nothing. My GYN says that although we usually wait a year, we know that I have an issue and especially after I told him I had found my mother's medical records and found she used clomid to conceive me and one of my brothers, he sends me to a GYN/OB that specializes in fertility. Ron is tested, and is fine, so a few more months go by, and we begin clomid, because although my chart says I am ovulating..this will boost it a bit. 2 months of this and the doctor starts becoming a bit perplexed by my charts, and (very thankfully) sends me to the jones institute.
The main man in charge Dr. Oehninger saw me the first day, and it is routine to do an ultra sound to just check things out. I tell him that he probably won't see much because according to my test and chart, I ovulated 7 days before. He said that on the ultrasound he could see that I did not ovulate at all. Hmmmm... I showed him my chart from that month, and it looked perfect! He told me to throw away my thermometer and that some women's body's can act as though they have ovulated even though they did not. He also said that we know for sure that I have ovulated at least once, because I did get pregnant, but that some women can ovulate once a year, twice a year, three times...there is just no telling when I truly ovulate. He said we would begin testing on other issues, just to be sure, but that it's pretty obvious what my problem is.
We did bloodwork (all normal) and an HSG to make sure my tubes were clear (yep).
The next step was clomid with IUI (intra uterine insemination). I would be monitored the whole time to ensure my body was working :)
We did this twice, with no luck, and so-so results from the clomid. So, the great Dr. Oehninger wanted to try the next step. Injectable drugs..long story here..I'll shorten..started follistim, found I was allergic to an antibiotic they mix in, had to start a new drug..gonal-f which does the same thing. It was a crazy estrogen skyrocketed and made me violently ill. When we checked the ultrasound to see how many potential eggs I had..we saw one good one, and a couple of smaller ones. It didn't look great. We did the IUI, but I didn't have much hope. It was funny, at our previous IUI's Ron and I were excited. He would hold my hand afterwards (had to lay still for 10 minutes), and we would talk about what it would be like if it worked. This time, however..he sat in the corner and was ready a woman's magazine with Uma Thurman on the cover and instead of thought of our future child, he was talking about how good looking Uma was...haha.
For some reason, I didn't feel as though this one was it..I guess the not great ultrasound. So when I tested that morning exactly 14 days later (didn't even bother testing early), I was shocked to see a perfect second line appear quickly. I jumped into bed and woke Ron. Then called the doctor, and they said come in for my bloodwork.
The rest as they say is can read at the beginning of this blog what happened from initially we found we had triplets..a shock to us and the doctors. How we lost baby c in the first trimester, but were blessed with the two most perfect boys I could imagine.
This ended up much longer than I had meant for it to be..

My true purpose in writing this was to put myself out there, to let anyone who may be struggling with infertility and feels like they alone, know that they are not. I was so extremely lucky to have 3 things while I was struggling. I had a great friend who had been through it, the same treatment as me and was blessed with an amazingly beautiful child while I was struggling. She and her little one were a constant inspiration, and she was always there for me to talk to. I also had another woman who was going through treatment with me, who I am very glad to say is due next month! I also had an amazing network of women online, who truly became very very dear friends..because we were going through something so difficult together.
Here I am today with these beautiful boys. Everything I dreamed it would be and more.
I can never say how thankful I am for the doctors who helped me, and made this possible, and for the women who supported me and made it just bearable.
So, this fertility awareness week (which happens to fall on the anniversary week of the boys' conception date). I would just like to be able to put tell my story, and maybe I can help, and be a support, to be an inspiration.

handsome fellas

Not too much new going on...we're still working on rolling (almost did it again :). Tummy time is going super, Ronnie is getting better all the time, but he can't do it every day because his tummy issues have been up and down..right now its up (or is it down..well its just bad). I think his reflux is bothering him..he has been throwing up a good amount more, and actually he is back to sleeping in the bouncy seat for now. The GI doc told me that as he is recovering it would probably be up and down, so I guess we are on our way. Otherwise we are enjoying the to open the windows, go for walks, and I really need to get some pumpkin candles to burn after the boys go to bed :)
In other news as the boys become more and more aware of everything around them..Joey in particular is in love with the TV..sooo, now the TV is off most of the time. Always during play time and nap time. Sometimes I do enjoy watching TV while feeding though, so yesterday I put on my Planet Earth DVD's because I figure if they do see the TV, I want it to be something beautiful and educational or as H.I. Mcdonnough said " Two hours a day, either educational or football, so you don't ruin your appreciation of the finer things". are some new pics!!!

how could a day not start out wonderfully when you see faces like this? (and yes, ronnie is trying to poop in the first one, haha)

me and ronnie..he picked out that shirt ;)

the boys

happy little rascal

i think he was just happy about his new old man pants

tummy time tiger

when i was getting bottles ready, i came back to the boys holding hands on the was so cute, but as soon as i grabbed my camera they stopped (of course..they saw a future of me showing that pic to girlfriends)...but joey started cuddling with (well, chewing on) ronnie's that was pretty cute :)

joey's fascination with giraffe's continues (and walter's fascination with baby feet continues)

ronnie bundled up for a chilly fall walk

Saturday, October 11, 2008

5 months!!!

the boys are 5 months today..i cannot believe that in one month they will be half a year old. they are changing amazing, funny, wonderful ways..ronnie is talking just a ton, it is so fun to just sit and talk to him, he has moved on to a ton of vowels, and he squeals a lot now too...he is so loud the dogs come running..its funny. joey loves to hear us talk..he LOVES when i read him books, he gets very invested in the story, haha..he really acts like he understands what the pokey little puppy is doing..i love it.
i never made the announcement here that ronnie rolled over..he did it three times total so far, i cried the first time, haha. it was funny, because he had not even been trying. one day during tummy time, he just rolled. joey has been trying like a champ, but no luck yet..i wonder if that big head is just too heavy for him! aww..he has grown into it :)
joey is amazing at tummy time..he holds his head up great..and they are both starting to reach for and grasp things..that just started this week..i was getting worried about all of these things, and then they started doing all of them at once!
today, ronnie even reached out and touched my face, it was mighty sweet..
they are starting to notice each other a lot more.just not at the same time, haha. one will notice the other and start smiling and talking, but the other one will be looking somewhere else..and vice versa.
also we have finally finished the nursery!!!! i love it, its my favorite room in the house..huge thanks to the lowders for everything they have done to help with that (and everything else)..we love you guys!!!
a shout out to sarah j too for helping pick up the cribs :)

here are some more recent pics..enjoy!!


the last time they could wear those hats..but they were sooo cute

joey enjoying story time (adding his 2 cents)

ronnie has become quite interested in joey's ears..

joey had gotten poop in his i let him nap in just his was just so sweet

Saturday, October 4, 2008

my how things change...

i posted this on the boards, and i kept going back and looking at the pictures in awe..
so i thought i would share

here they are the first day they were both at 3 weeks old
(and those are their preemie clothes they were swimming in)

and here they are at 4 months..those are some big boys!!

ron and i kept looking at that new picture and laughing..he said they look like 2 little old fat men..that smirk on joeys face and ronnie's hand on his belly are priceless!
they really don't look that fat, it was kind of just the way they were sitting...but believe me, they have plenty of meat on those bones!!

just for good measure here is another picture from that same session..ronnie is giving his amazing frog smile, and joey looks like his big brother

such sweet boys :)