how we got here

disclaimer...this is a bit long, so if you don't have time..you can skip to the last paragraph for my reasons for writing this novel ;)


This week is National Infertility Awareness week, so I thought now was as good a time as any to tell our story.
Having twins is always a conversation starter with strangers, and one commonly asked question is "do twins run in your family". This is kind of the "polite" way of asking if you have gone through fertility treatments. I always just answer the question "no" and leave it at that. Its not because I am unwilling to talk about what we have been through, or that I am embarrassed in any way. Actually I don't really like the question because of the way it leaves an unanswered question behind. Whenever I say "no", the person asking usually just says "oh", or acts surprised. Sometimes people even ask "who's side of the family do twins run on?" I just say "neither", knowing that there is a twin somewhere in Ron's family, but I also know that the father's side in no way affects the chances of the mother becoming pregnant with twins.
These questions just feel so awkward..I would almost prefer "did you undergo fertility treatments?"
The answer is "yep".
Ron and I knew from the start we wanted a family, and wanted to start as soon as possible. I had a feeling we might have trouble, my cycles were never regular. We were married in June of 06 and began trying that month. I was actually disappointed that it didn't happen that month, haha. The next month I had done research, and I went out and got a BBT thermometer for charting and ovulation predication tests. The next month my cycle was very strange, so I decided to test, just for the heck of it, and saw an amazing positive pregnancy test. Ron and I were so excited, it was happening so fast! I had been spotting, so I called my gyn in the morning, hoping they would just say "oh, thats normal, not to worry". Instead, they told me to come in for blood work. I was so thrilled when they called me at the end of the day and said I was indeed pregnant, but I needed to have blood work again in 2 days, I had stopped bleeding, so I was sure it would be fine. Alas, my numbers had gone down, and I had miscarried.
I was very lucky to have an amazing gyn, who even though they usually do no testing until the 3rd miscarriage, suspected that I might have an issue due to my irregular cycles..this is when we discovered my luteal phase defect. This is basically a hormonal problem that keeps my body from making a proper place for an egg to implant. So, we figured that this is the problem, and I begin progesterone supplements..I am still charting, still using prediction tests, and everything appears normal on paper. 6 months later, still nothing. My GYN says that although we usually wait a year, we know that I have an issue and especially after I told him I had found my mother's medical records and found she used clomid to conceive me and one of my brothers, he sends me to a GYN/OB that specializes in fertility. Ron is tested, and is fine, so a few more months go by, and we begin clomid, because although my chart says I am ovulating..this will boost it a bit. 2 months of this and the doctor starts becoming a bit perplexed by my charts, and (very thankfully) sends me to the jones institute.
The main man in charge Dr. Oehninger saw me the first day, and it is routine to do an ultra sound to just check things out. I tell him that he probably won't see much because according to my test and chart, I ovulated 7 days before. He said that on the ultrasound he could see that I did not ovulate at all. Hmmmm... I showed him my chart from that month, and it looked perfect! He told me to throw away my thermometer and that some women's body's can act as though they have ovulated even though they did not. He also said that we know for sure that I have ovulated at least once, because I did get pregnant, but that some women can ovulate once a year, twice a year, three times...there is just no telling when I truly ovulate. He said we would begin testing on other issues, just to be sure, but that it's pretty obvious what my problem is.
We did bloodwork (all normal) and an HSG to make sure my tubes were clear (yep).
The next step was clomid with IUI (intra uterine insemination). I would be monitored the whole time to ensure my body was working :)
We did this twice, with no luck, and so-so results from the clomid. So, the great Dr. Oehninger wanted to try the next step. Injectable drugs..long story here..I'll shorten..started follistim, found I was allergic to an antibiotic they mix in, had to start a new drug..gonal-f which does the same thing. It was a crazy week..my estrogen skyrocketed and made me violently ill. When we checked the ultrasound to see how many potential eggs I had..we saw one good one, and a couple of smaller ones. It didn't look great. We did the IUI, but I didn't have much hope. It was funny, at our previous IUI's Ron and I were excited. He would hold my hand afterwards (had to lay still for 10 minutes), and we would talk about what it would be like if it worked. This time, however..he sat in the corner and was ready a woman's magazine with Uma Thurman on the cover and instead of thought of our future child, he was talking about how good looking Uma was...haha.
For some reason, I didn't feel as though this one was it..I guess the not great ultrasound. So when I tested that morning exactly 14 days later (didn't even bother testing early), I was shocked to see a perfect second line appear quickly. I jumped into bed and woke Ron. Then called the doctor, and they said come in for my bloodwork.
The rest as they say is history..you can read at the beginning of this blog what happened from there..how initially we found we had triplets..a shock to us and the doctors. How we lost baby c in the first trimester, but were blessed with the two most perfect boys I could imagine.
This ended up much longer than I had meant for it to be..


My true purpose in writing this was to put myself out there, to let anyone who may be struggling with infertility and feels like they alone, know that they are not. I was so extremely lucky to have 3 things while I was struggling. I had a great friend who had been through it, the same treatment as me and was blessed with an amazingly beautiful child while I was struggling. She and her little one were a constant inspiration, and she was always there for me to talk to. I also had another woman who was going through treatment with me, who I am very glad to say is due next month! I also had an amazing network of women online, who truly became very very dear friends..because we were going through something so difficult together.
Here I am today with these beautiful boys. Everything I dreamed it would be and more.
I can never say how thankful I am for the doctors who helped me, and made this possible, and for the women who supported me and made it just bearable.
So, this fertility awareness week (which happens to fall on the anniversary week of the boys' conception date). I would just like to be able to put tell my story, and maybe I can help, and be a support, to be an inspiration.